I guess you could say that being a mom has changed who I am. In many ways it has.. though I notice a lot of my old habits and traits holding on like a cockroach might do after he's sprayed with raid.. Run real fast in circles until you scream with fright and squash his nasty ass before the raid has a chance to work. "Kills on contact".. my ass, there should be a 10 second warning on that stuff.
Anyway, I was thinking about my mom-itude the other day when I was hanging around one of our friend's wives. I knew they were a young couple, possibly expecting their first. The girl is glowing, she's a real sight.. so in love, but so young. I thought they were at least close to our age. My darling husband is 27 and I will be 24 in a couple weeks.. so we are young, though I feel our kids have made us "grow up".. Her interests still involve beer, cigarettes and parties. I stared across at her, deep in conversation.. "That stuff loses it's fun after kids are around" I said. "Things like first words or steps become more fun than the best party you've ever been to." She stared blankly at me for a moment, seeming to have a hard time comprehending what I was saying. I wasn't sure if she had suddenly forgotten how to speak english or if she really thought I was crazy. "Hard to imagine my life changing, it never has" she replied back. I know I will touch nerves when I say kids change you.. Fact is, they do, whether or not you like it! I can't say what about you will change.. be it for the better or worse.. I figure I should give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I am very young, though I sometimes feel like an "old" soul.. I don't want to sound like a know it all but I just sensed she hasn't lived much beyond the high school era. I graduated two years early on a home schooling program. Granted the cirriculum was a hot mess, I worked hard.. that's another story for another blog. "Kids are different when they are yours, you can't give them back to their mom or lock them in a crate when they're bad, like a dog..." I softly said back to her with a half-hearted smile. "You just take it one day at a time and learn as you go.. it's like writing a novel, only you are not the only author." She seemed to understand what I was getting at. We went back to watching a popular show on jobs that lack.. cleanliness.. I love it. Both super grossed out, we just sort of tossed boring jabber back and forth. I just can't shake how.. old I felt. I know that I'm young.. I struggle to be mature enough to function in society.. where laughing at farts, gnomes and crazy people is not socially acceptable.
My husband came home that evening after spending his time with the girls husband. You see, my dh and her dh are hunting/fishing buddies.. They gathered their things and left.. My husband talked about how much fun they had on their little adventure in the woods. He admired a beautiful doe, some birds and other animals that passed his way. Then he mentioned he found out how old this couple is. We were thinking 20 and 21.. no! They are 17 and 19. We are a military family, and so are they. I guess I expected more because the husband is quite mature, sure in his words and actions... I sat silent, stunned by that news. Sure, she'll be 18 soon enough.. but I feel like she has no idea how much her life is going to change. Life changes because it has to. There is a small person, with needs that have to be met.. they trust you to do the right thing. I was never a real big party person, though I've had my days. It was easy for me to change because I accepted it would happen. And guess what.. it did happen. I have one toddling around and one attached to my boob. Can you believe we're already talking about a 3rd? With my darling step daughter that will be 4 kids.. a 6 person household.
How has your life changed? Have your children opened your eyes to new potentials.. both within yourself and the world?